Jealousy.

Jealousy. It's a horrible thing isn't it? Probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Watching people full fill the dreams that you want. The dreams that you worked so hard for, and for what? Nothing. You got nothing out of it but the memories...but the second that you give up on that dream it always seems like someone else accomplishes it. 

 A year ago one of my dreams was to go to state in the 4x1. It's been my race since 7th grade and we've been so close every year, last year was my final shot..but I'm me. Which means my dreams generally don't come true when I want them to happen. They happen when my coach screws me out of a position or when I graduate. Which I guess are no longer MY dreams, they're someone else's. Typical Katie luck. I'm not saying that I'm not happy for the girls who for the first time in school history are now going to state, I'm saying I envy you. I worked so hard my whole high school career to run what you girls are about to run. Jogging up to the starting line, heart racing, confidence, hearing the announcer say "sweats off. on your mark. set." **gun**, the adrenaline from that perfect hand off..I miss it. I wish I was one of you girls, but I'm not, and I'm never going back to high school. So to put into terms I need to simply get over it.

So I wish you girls the best. I truly and honestly do, and it's not the kind of good luck where you say good luck and you're really hoping they do bad. Honestly good luck. Live the dream that so many athletes dream of.